[More linking scenes here -- guess 3 for the sake of numbering
the following scenes. The last scene will end with:]
DAWN hugs BUFFY.
DAWN
You're home Buffy... You're home.
BUFFY just stares.
A NEW DAY - VARIOUS LOCATIONS - CONTINUING
"OVERTURE"
The OVERTURE begins as the lights
come up over the whole stage.
WILLOW, TARA, XANDER, ANYA & GILES
enter from different points around
the stage and cheerfully go about
their daily activities. DAWN
stands and joins them.
BUFFY rises slowly, moves US to
sit at a dressing table and begins
wiping dirt off her face, then
brushes her hair.
The feel of the scene is like busy
worker bees around a very
lethargic BUFFY.
As the OVERTURE is coming to a
finish, the LIGHTS FADE to
"moonlight" and the scoobies, as
though a normal part of their
activities, clear any props and
place headstones around the stage.
BUFFY has put her hair up, and now
takes off her black gown.
Underneath she is wearing her
patrolling gear. She puts on her
BLACK LEATHER JACKET then places a
couple of stakes in the inside
pockets.
SUNNYDALE CEMETERY - NIGHT - CONTINUING
She begins walking DS patrolling
the graveyard, looking bored.
"GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS"
BUFFY
EVERY SINGLE NIGHT
THE SAME ARRANGEMENT
I GO OUT AND FIGHT THE FIGHT
STILL I ALWAYS FEEL
THIS STRANGE ESTRANGEMENT
LONE VAMPIRE enters, trying to
circle around BUFFY without being
noticed. BUFFY spots him.
BUFFY (cont'd)
NOTHING HERE IS REAL
NOTHING HERE IS RIGHT
The LONE VAMPIRE lunges at BUFFY
and she beats him up as she sings.
BUFFY (cont'd)
I'VE BEEN MAKING SHOWS
OF TRADING BLOWS
JUST HOPING NO ONE KNOWS
THAT I'VE BEEN
GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS
BUFFY throws the LONE VAMPIRE to
the ground and reaches into her
jacket for a stake.
BUFFY (cont'd)
WALKING THROUGH THE PART
LONE VAMPIRE gets to his feet and
creeps back up to BUFFY.
BUFFY (cont'd)
NOTHING SEEMS TO PENETRATE MY...
(She stakes LONE VAMPIRE through the
heart.)
...HEART
VAMPIRE WITH SWORD, carrying a
sword, VAMPIRE WITH LINE and GOAT
DEMON enter, with a captive
HANDSOME MAN and tie him to a
tree(?). BUFFY turns to them.
BUFFY (cont'd)
I WAS ALWAYS BRAVE
AND KIND OF RIGHTEOUS
NOW I FIND I'M WAVERING
VAMPIRE WITH SWORD swings the
sword at BUFFY, misses her and she
punches him to the ground. He
drops the sword as he sprawls.
BUFFY (cont'd)
CRAWL OUT OF YOUR GRAVE
YOU'LL FIND THIS FIGHT
JUST DOESN'T MEAN A THING
BUFFY punches VAMPIRE WITH LINE in
the face, spinning his head around
to face the audience.
VAMPIRE WITH LINE
SHE AIN'T GOT THAT SWING
He punches BUFFY, knocking her to
the ground.
BUFFY
(still on the ground)
THANKS FOR NOTICING
VAMPIRE WITH SWORD, VAMPIRE WITH
LINE & GOAT DEMON
(dancing)
SHE DOES PRETTY WELL
WITH FIENDS FROM HELL
BUT LATELY WE CAN TELL
BUFFY picks up the sword and jumps
to her feet.
VAMPIRE WITH SWORD, VAMPIRE WITH
LINE & GOAT DEMON (cont'd)
THAT SHE'S JUST GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS
FAKING IT SOMEHOW
BUFFY slashes VAMPIRE WITH LINE,
kicks VAMPIRE WITH SWORD to the
ground, then runs the sword
through the GOAT DEMON.
GOAT DEMON
SHE'S NOT EVEN HALF THE GIRL SHE --
(delayed reaction, looks down at his wound
and collapses)
OWW!
BUFFY
(walking over to HANDSOME MAN)
WILL I STAY THIS WAY FOREVER?
SLEEPWALK THROUGH MY LIFE'S ENDEAVOR?
She cuts the rope holding him with
a slash of the sword.
HANDSOME MAN
HOW CAN I REPAY --
BUFFY
WHATEVER
BUFFY absentmindedly hands the
SWORD to the HANDSOME MAN and
turns away without having even
looked at him.
As she continues singing, he'll
look down at the sword, back at
her, then exit slowly, confused.
BUFFY (cont'd)
I DON'T WANT TO BE
GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS
LOSING ALL MY DRIVE
I CAN'T EVEN SEE
IF THIS IS REALLY ME
VAMPIRE WITH SWORD leaps up again
and moves toward BUFFY
BUFFY (cont'd)
AND I JUST WANNA BE...
(She stakes him)
...ALIVE!
BLACKOUT
THE MAGIC BOX - DAY
DSL is THE MAGIC BOX area, with
the READING TABLE and a few
CHAIRS, a BOOKSHELF, a couple of
TROLLIES with various items on,
and a SALES COUNTER.
GILES is standing at a bookshelf
with a book, WILLOW and TARA are
checking out some candles.
XANDER and ANYA sit at the TABLE.
ANYA is reading a wedding
magazine, XANDER is playing with a
cruller and a donut.
XANDER
Respect the cruller, and tame the donut!
ANYA
(without looking up, unconvincing)
That's still funny, sweetie.
[maybe more talk about the marriage/engagement party]
BUFFY enters from DSL.
GILES
Hello, Buffy.
WILLOW
Oh Hey, did Dawn get off to school all right
this morning?
BUFFY
(very distracted)
What? Uh..Oh, yeah. I think so.
WILLOW is concerned by BUFFY'S
response.
BUFFY (cont'd)
(addressing everyone in general)
So er, no research? Nothing going on? Monsters
or whatnot?
(OTHERS shake their heads)
Good! Good. Ah, so did anybody -- uh... Last
night, did anybody um...
(finally blurts it out)
burst into song?
A moment of stunned silence.
Everyone looks at each other.
XANDER
Merciful Zeus!
They are suddenly all telling
their stories at once.
WILLOW
We thought it was just us!
GILES
Well, I sang but I had my guitar at the
hotel...
TARA
It was bizarre. We were talking and then it was
like...
BUFFY
Like you were in a musical!
GILES
That would explain the huge backing orchestra I
couldn't see and the synchronized dancing from
the room service chaps.
WILLOW
We did a whole duet about dish washing.
ANYA
And we were arguing and then everything rhymed
and there were harmonies and the dance with
coconuts.
WILLOW
There was an entire verse about the cous-cous.
XANDER
It was very disturbing.
GILES
(to Buffy)
What did you sing about?
BUFFY
(lying unconvincingly)
I don't remember. But it seemed perfectly
normal.
XANDER
But disturbing, and not the natural order of
things, and do you think it'll happen again?
(see scriptbook)
GILES
Well, we should look into it.
WILLOW
With the books. (see scriptbook)
TARA
Do we have any books on this?
XANDER
Well, we just gotta break it down. Look at the
factors before it happens again, because I for
one --
"I'VE GOT A THEORY/ BUNNIES/ IF WE'RE TOGETHER"
GILES
I'VE GOT A THEORY
THAT IT'S A DEMON
A DANCING DEMON
NAH, SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT THERE
WILLOW
I'VE GOT A THEORY
SOME KID IS DREAMIN'
AND WE'RE ALL STUCK INSIDE
HIS WACKY BROADWAY NIGHTMARE
(TARA does "wacky" Jazz hands)
XANDER
I'VE GOT A THEORY
WE SHOULD WORK THIS OUT
XANDER, GILES, ANYA, WILLOW, TARA
IT'S GETTING EERIE
WHAT'S THIS CHEERY SINGING ALL ABOUT?
XANDER
(Jumping to his feet)
IT COULD BE WITCHES
SOME EVIL WITCHES --
(spots WILLOW & TARA and backpeddels)
WHICH IS RIDICULOUS,
'CAUSE WITCHES, THEY WERE PERSECUTED
WICCA GOOD AND LOVE THE EARTH
AND WOMEN POWER AND I'LL BE OVER HERE
ANYA
I'VE GOT A THEORY
IT COULD BE BUNNIES
Others stare at ANYA in stunned
silence.
SOUND FX: Crickets chirping.
TARA
(turning back to the group)
I'VE GOT A THEORY --
ANYA'S next song has the delivery,
lighting and pyrotechnics of
stadium rock.
ANYA
BUNNIES AREN'T JUST CUTE
LIKE EVERYBODY SUPPOSES!
THEY GOT THEM HOPPY LEGS
AND TWITCHY LITTLE NOSES!
AND WHAT'S WITH ALL THE CARROTS?
WHAT DO THEY NEED SUCH GOOD EYESIGHT FOR ANYWAY?
BUNNIES! BUNNIES!
IT MUST BE BUNNIES!
(The others still stare in stunned
silence)
OR MAYBE MIDGETS?
WILLOW
I'VE GOT A THEORY
WE SHOULD WORK THIS FAST
WILLOW & GILES
BECAUSE IT CLEARLY COULD GET SERIOUS
BEFORE IT'S PASSED
BUFFY
I'VE GOT A THEORY
IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT CAN'T WE FACE IF WE'RE TOGETHER?
WHAT'S IN THIS PLACE THAT WE CAN'T WEATHER?
APOCALYPSE?
WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE
THE SAME OLD TRIPS
WHY SHOULD WE CARE?
BUFFY, WILLOW, TARA, XANDER &
ANYA
(GILES seems unsure about joining in)
WHAT CAN'T WE DO IF WE GET IN IT?
WE'LL WORK IT THROUGH WITHIN A MINUTE
ALL
(GILES joins in)
WE HAVE TO TRY
WE'LL PAY THE PRICE
IT'S DO OR DIE
BUFFY
HEY, I'VE DIED TWICE
ALL
WHAT CAN'T WE FACE IF WE'RE TOGETHER?
WHAT'S IN THIS PLACE THAT WE CAN'T WEATHER?
THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN'T FACE
ANYA
EXCEPT FOR BUNNIES...
XANDER
See, okay that was disturbing.
WILLOW
I thought it was neat.
BUFFY
(to GILES)
So what is it? What's causing it?
GILES
I thought it didn't matter?
BUFFY
Well, I'm not exactly quaking in my stylish,
yet affordable boots, but there's definitely
something unnatural going on here... and that
doesn't usually lead to hugs and puppies.
ANYA
Well, is it just us? Is it only happening to
us?... because that would probably mean a
spell.
BUFFY turns and exits DSL. LIGHTS
DOWN on MAGIC BOX and LIGHTS UP on
CS as HAPPY CUSTOMER enters.
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