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Episode #107
Analysis of the musical
Soundtrack CD
Lyrics / Synopsis

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Isn't he fine?

...only trouble is...I'll never tell...

She is the one

Embrace! Tight embrace!

...there's nothing to tell...

...these skeezy cheeses...

...it's all very well...

...look he's getting huffy

His eyes are beady!

...dancing crazy...

...firm yet supple...

Tight embrace!

...fears I can't quell...

Am I marrying a demon...

...making marriage a hell...

I'll never...tell!

Somewhere in the streets of Sunnydale, a man dances himself to death - bursting into flames - while a demon, SWEET, watches on.  The next morning, Anya and Xander wake and sing their hidden feelings about their relationship.

ANYA This is the man
That I plan
To entangle
Isn't he fine?

My claim to fame
Was to maim
And to mangle
Vengeance was mine

But I'm out of the biz
The name I made I'll trade for his
The only trouble is...

I'll never tell
XANDER She is the one
She's such won-
derful fun
Such passion and grace

Warm in the night
When I'm right
In her tight -
Embrace! Tight embrace!

I'll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that - No
I'll never tell
BOTH 'Cause there's nothing to tell
ANYA He snores
XANDER She wheezes
ANYA Say "housework" and he freezes
XANDER She eats these skeezy cheeses
That I can't describe
ANYA I talk, he breezes
XANDER She doesn't know what "please" is
ANYA His penis got diseases
From a Chumash tribe
BOTH The vibe gets kind of scary
XANDER Like she thinks I'm ordinary
ANYA Like it's all just temporary
XANDER Like her toes are kind of hairy
BOTH But it's all very well
'Cause god knows I'll never tell!
ANYA When things get rough he
Just hides behind his Buffy
Now look he's gettin' huffy
'Cause he knows that I know
XANDER She clings, she's needy
She's also really greedy
She never -
ANYA His eyes are beady!
XANDER This is my verse! Hello?
She -

(Starts dancing what looks like the Charleston)
Look at me! I'm dancing crazy!

[Xanda and Anya dance routine]

BOTH You know...
XANDER You're quite the charmer
ANYA My knight in armor
XANDER You're the cutest of the Scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple -
Tight embrace!
ANYA He's swell
XANDER She's sweller
ANYA He'll always be my fella
XANDER That's why I'll never tell her
That I'm petrified!
ANYA I've read this tale
There's wedding then betrayal
I know that come the day I'll
Want to run and hide
BOTH I lied
I said it's easy
I've tried
But there's these fears I can't quell
XANDER Is she looking for a pot of gold?
ANYA Will I look good when I've gotten old?
XANDER Will our lives become too stressful
If I'm never that successful?
ANYA When I get so worn and wrinkly
That I look like David Brinkley?
XANDER Am I crazy?
ANYA Am I dreamin'?
XANDER Am I marrying a demon?
BOTH We could really raise the beam
In making marriage a hell
So thank God I'll never tell!
I swear that I'll never tell!
XANDER My lips are sealed!
ANYA I take the fifth!
XANDER Nothing to see
Move it along
BOTH I'll never...tell!
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