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Somewhere in the streets of Sunnydale, a man dances himself to death - bursting into flames - while a demon, SWEET, watches on. The next morning, Anya and Xander wake and sing their hidden feelings about their relationship.
|
|
| ANYA |
This is the man
That I plan
To entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame
Was to maim
And to mangle
Vengeance was mine
But I'm out of the biz
The name I made I'll trade for his
The only trouble is...
I'll never tell |
| XANDER |
She is the one
She's such won-
derful fun
Such passion and grace
Warm in the night
When I'm right
In her tight -
Embrace! Tight embrace!
I'll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that - No
I'll never tell |
| BOTH |
'Cause there's nothing to tell |
| ANYA |
He snores |
| XANDER |
She wheezes |
| ANYA |
Say "housework" and he freezes |
| XANDER |
She eats these skeezy cheeses
That I can't describe |
| ANYA |
I talk, he breezes |
| XANDER |
She doesn't know what "please" is |
| ANYA |
His penis got diseases
From a Chumash tribe |
| BOTH |
The vibe gets kind of scary |
| XANDER |
Like she thinks I'm ordinary |
| ANYA |
Like it's all just temporary |
| XANDER |
Like her toes are kind of hairy |
| BOTH |
But it's all very well
'Cause god knows I'll never tell! |
| ANYA |
When things get rough he
Just hides behind his Buffy
Now look he's gettin' huffy
'Cause he knows that I know |
| XANDER |
She clings, she's needy
She's also really greedy
She never - |
| ANYA |
His eyes are beady! |
| XANDER |
This is my verse! Hello?
She - |
| ANYA |
(Starts dancing what looks like the Charleston)
Look at me! I'm dancing crazy!
[Xanda and Anya dance routine]
|
| BOTH |
You know... |
| XANDER |
You're quite the charmer |
| ANYA |
My knight in armor |
| XANDER |
You're the cutest of the Scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple -
Tight embrace! |
| ANYA |
He's swell |
| XANDER |
She's sweller |
| ANYA |
He'll always be my fella |
| XANDER |
That's why I'll never tell her
That I'm petrified! |
| ANYA |
I've read this tale
There's wedding then betrayal
I know that come the day I'll
Want to run and hide |
| BOTH |
I lied
I said it's easy
I've tried
But there's these fears I can't quell |
| XANDER |
Is she looking for a pot of gold? |
| ANYA |
Will I look good when I've gotten old? |
| XANDER |
Will our lives become too stressful
If I'm never that successful? |
| ANYA |
When I get so worn and wrinkly
That I look like David Brinkley? |
| XANDER |
Am I crazy? |
| ANYA |
Am I dreamin'? |
| XANDER |
Am I marrying a demon? |
| BOTH |
We could really raise the beam
In making marriage a hell
So thank God I'll never tell!
I swear that I'll never tell! |
| XANDER |
My lips are sealed! |
| ANYA |
I take the fifth! |
| XANDER |
Nothing to see
Move it along |
| BOTH |
I'll never...tell! |
